Inspired by the book “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” and Dr. Suess
My Plight
If you see a dog wearing green plastic booties,
You will stare and stare like it’s your most important duty.
You will think, “Wow. They’re like mini shower caps. Look at that!”
SPLAT!!!
You will trip over a speed bump and crash to the ground,
In a left, straight-arm tackle on top of that mound.
Your face will be safe but your body prostrate,
And the stuff in your bag, is all over the place.
Crime Scene
The man with the dog will extend a leather-gloved hand,
You will grab hold so you can once again stand.
“Hey. We’ve all been there.” He says non-plussed
He has no idea that his green-bootie-clad dog could cause such a fuss.
You will shake off the pain; blink back the tears.
You will shop anyway since you are here.
With the new welcome mat and mug made of chrome,
You slide into your car and head for home.
Your hands on the wheel, you will gasp and squeal,
“What is the deal?!?”
“My God! My arm hurts a lot!”
You will hope you are not, in a god-awful spot.
You will give up swimming and weight lifting too.
Your family cries, “Moms are infallible. No crying Boo Hoo!”.
You will stamp your feet and say, “C’mon guys!”
They will rise from the couch with a roll of their eyes.
After practicing swim strokes in the air,
You will believe you can swim, “I’m so there!”
Two strokes in the pool, the pain is too great.
“Darn it! I cannot believe my fate!”
Coach Mike will teach you to swim the proper way.
“This is an opportunity!” That’s what he’ll say.
One arm is better than none,
You will do what it takes to get the workout done.
You will visit the doc, “Bursitis! PT for you!”
“But I’m not OLD! I’m confused!”
“It can happen to anyone. Tennis players too.”
“Whew!”
After seven weeks in PT,
The therapist cries, “Geez,“
“I smell a rat!
You tore something. I’m sure of that!”
An MRI will show a torn rotator cuff,
bone spurs and other stuff.
Now it’s surgery, surgery for you.
It’s ok to let out a big BOO HOO!
“Six weeks in A BIG FAT SLING!” You repeat the horrible news.
It doesn’t sound good from the doc or you.
“No workouts! My oh my, you’re gonna die!”
Hubby does not lie.
One month to plan and prepare,
You clear the clutter in the house that had always been there.
After fifteen years, Why now?
You will act like you are having a baby or just having a cow!
You plan the cutest possible tops and bottoms to go with A BIG FAT SLING.
You discover THE GAP has EVERYTHING!
Feminine flannels, glam pajamas and snap-front bras with pretty lace!
How on earth did I miss this place!?!
“Coach is right! This is an OPPORTUNITY!” you say.
“By God, I will celebrate with a shopping day!”
The house is scrubbed from bottom to top.
No worries for Hubby! You worked A LOT!
Ready at last.
“Let’s get it over with fast!”
“Do you have anything to ask?” offers the surgeon with a mask.
“Yes! Did you eat lunch?”
I had a nervous hunch.
“I’m ready! Nice and jittery.” He jokingly dared.
“Great! Just what I like in a surgeon!” You say with a piercing glare.
Next thing you know,
Hubby is driving you home.
Your arm is neatly folded into THE BIG FAT SLING,
Your wardrobe pal, for a six-week fling.
After just one week,
You will find the journey isn’t so bleak.
Except at night, the sling like trap,
Feels like hugging a big fat bike rack.
Then you will say, “I just need one more cute thing!”
SLING BLING*!
You will glue sparkly part by sparkly part,
To make a gloriously glittery new heart!
“To think, none of this would be
if I kept my eyes in front of me.”
So if you see a dog in green plastic booties,
Be careful, or you might trip big, a real doozy.
Sling Selfie: Sling Bling*
copyright protected.
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Francie, this just made my day! You had me at the title 🤣🤣🤣. It is a gift to be able to find the humor in your situation. Good for you!
loved it! so creative!!
Francie… I love your blog but am so sorry to hear about your injury! Here’s to quick healing and the ability to laugh along the way. Thinking of you!
Thanks Dana! I appreciate the read and the well wishes!
Thanks Barbara!
Yay! Exactly the impact I hoped. Thanks for sharing!
Francie, the one and only, does it again 😂! Hope the healing goes well! 💕
Yep! I’m healing FAST!!! Glad you enjoyed the post!
I feel your pain. Yet your creativity abounds. Telling your story in rhyme – very fun. Glad you have use of your right arm but I think you are off kitchen duty, maybe laundry too.
Cooking, not yet. Dishes and laundry–you bet! I’m on it! Not that bad.
Ouch!! Hope you’re healing well! I admire your spirit and ability to find the humor in this situation! Love the sling bling!
Thanks Risa! Healing fast! Very thankful for that! I can’t stop rhyming…Blogging distracts from the pain.That’s a good thing. Oops there I go again.
Whew! So glad your sense of humor remained intact through the accident and surgery! Heal well, my friend.
You knw what they say, “When life gives you lemons…” Thanks Teresa!
Ah shoot, Francie. Every day is one day closer to the pool…Your best stroke currently? Key Strokes! Looking forward to lots of your writing to come!
Ha, ha! You are very clever Linda! Thanks for your encouragement!
I will not put any booties on Miley! Love your post, glad the pain meds are working:) and that it’s done. See you soon!
Very considerate of you! Thanks for keeping up!
Oh no! I saw your post a couple days ago and thought it was *about* Coach Mike so I glossed over it. 🤗 Damn, sounds painful. Your awesome attitude is going to see you through this. Please don’t scorn me next time I sprain my ankle and am a big baby about it! hahaha
Shoot. Sorry about the distraction over Coach Mike. Glad you endured and it paid off.:-) You are tougher than you think; it comes with being female!
Sending love and healing thoughts your way my friend! I love that you do what you love and share it with the world! Another creatively written, smile promoting share! Thanks! 😃😘
Thanks for the well-wishes and loving my posts! Means a bunch!
So sorry to hear about your arm … but I loved the post! And love that bling on the sling.
Yay! So good to hear from you! I thought you might like the bling! We must meet up. I want to here about your latest trip!
Wow thats a bummer! Hate you had to go through that but love you sharing the funnier side of it. AND the bling, how can you not resist!
Clever! Hope you are mending well!
Yep! Going smoothly!