Do you know how Greenwich Mean Time became the world’s clock? A mom did it; at least that’s my theory. Scientists took our innate time-keeping skill and turned it into a clock. I don’t know exactly how, but moms are really good at keeping and managing time—without a timepiece. It’s been this way since the beginning of time, no pun intended. We cooked the meals: breakfast, lunch and dinner. We put the kids to bed. It just made sense how it all came together. We sliced up the day according to needs; moms were and are the keepers of time.
Of course I don’t have “scientific” proof of my theory that moms invented time. It’s kind of like how a mom knows a kid is sick; she just knows and it can’t be seen. If you look up GMT or Greenwich Mean Time, you will find a lot of calculations are made to account for curvature of the earth, angle of the sun and tilt of the earth. A mom would not go to the trouble of all these crazy calculations; she’s much too smart to waste time on time. Her internal clock triggers her behavior. She knows when to get dinner going without a calculator or a watch. Scientists just wanted to have something to sink their teeth into besides a sandwich at noon. So why not slap some numbers on a meal, based on the angle of the sun?
If the world was going to be one big happy place, a common language needed to be spoken. Dads and kids couldn’t follow mom’s innate time-tracking system; they are not mind readers. Her constant reminders of when to do something useful like sweep the cave were driving everyone crazy and just might be how cursing started. Thus, the complicated clock was created, breaking the day into minutes. Moms took the scientist’s number idea and ran with it.
We take the clock very seriously to maximize productivity and avoid tardiness. Hence, we talk in increments like the airlines, 9:13. 12:18. 8:03. Just like the scientists, airports took their lead from us too. I’m sure of it. Moms came before airplanes you know. That’s proof enough for me we moms spoke in specifics before anyone else.
Any doubters can refer to my nonscientific data collection in Exhibit A. In it are common statements spoken by a mom, to the best of my experience and recollection. I don’t know a dad or kid out there that talks like a mom telling time.
Exhibit A: Non-Scientific Data Collection: Moms telling time.
- “It takes me twenty-three minutes to do afternoon pick-up, 33 minutes if I stop at the store.”
- “It’s 8:03 AM! We should have left for school 6 minutes ago!”
- “Meet me at the theater at 6:55.”
- “Carpool pick up at 5:20.”
We don’t just talk in exact minute lingo; we walk the talk too. Moms get rigorous practice managing time every weekday morning, where exactness is the name of the game. I call it the fire drill. If I picked myself out of a random sample, this is what a typical morning looks like:
5:33 AM. Rise for the gym. Dress in clothes set out the night before, in the dark so hubby doesn’t wake.
7:10 AM. Arrive home from workout. Fill the kettle with water for French Press coffee. Mom needs GOOD fuel to work fast.
7:13 AM. Wake high-school son for school.
7:13.30 AM. Make breakfast for oldest son. Mix yogurt with dried fruits and nuts. I it would be faster to make the same thing for both kids. As nature would have it, their dietary restrictions differ. God made moms to handle it.
7:16 AM. Pour my first cup of Joe, a perfect blend of milk and hazelnut syrup. Mama is happy. Dad calls it a coffee milkshake and won’t touch it.
7:20 AM. Make two sandwiches with nitrate-free lunchmeat and non-GMO bread—health-conscious hubby decree. Wash two organic apples and grab two bags of chips. Set out on countertop, IN PLAIN SIGHT, so nothing is forgotten, especially the apple.
7:24 AM. Cook my younger son’s breakfast: over-easy egg, hash brown and orange slices.
7:28 AM. Pour myself another coffee milkshake. Heat in microwave for 30 seconds. Pour into travel mug.
7:33 AM. Break into the football dance as another race to start the day is complete and on time. Depart for high school carpool if I am driving. If it’s not my turn, I take a fast shower or make a breakfast for me.
7:58 AM. Take younger son to school.
Moms are good with the clock, very good. And we still have the knack to track time based on inklings. We know exactly how much time it will take to run one errand or a string of errands. Dads do not have this skill. I know this to be true as an experiment dropped into my lap. My husband gave me a run down of all the things he was going to accomplish in an hour-and-a-half. I laughed. I told him he could complete three of the five things on his list. He tested my theory and proved my hypothesis as fact. Indeed, he only completed three errands and was surprised at the results.
Thus, through my loosely scientific methodology, it is clear moms can take the credit for how we keep time today. We took care of the family since day one and influenced the way all systems operate be it the world clock, airports, bus schedules or movie theatres. We are a humble people and this virtue easily explains why none of this is well documented.
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